every day in every way you are getting better and better

January 2001
Step one: Contract a case of the hiccups.

Step two: Engage in outlandish activities in the attempt to quench the spasms. Possible selections include eating a tablespoon of dry sugar, holding an ice cube to either side of your Adam's apple, drinking water through a cloth, lying on a bed while pressing your fingertips against your eyelids, holding your tongue, or inducing vomiting.*

Step three: Do you still have the hiccups? You may investigate this question by a simple test. If it has been a second or more since your last hiccup, cough. If the condition persists, you will find that a hiccup follows directly upon the coughing.

*All hiccup remedies suggested in full seriousness by various sources.

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